About Me

Many of us at one point in time have felt emptiness. Longing for something deeper, we try very hard to fill that void with accomplishments, material possessions, and emotional attachments. Things that are instantly gratifying at first, but slowly and in time, fade away and the emptiness is back. For a moment you think you have eluded it, but you were fooled. 

How long will you play the fool?

I have always been in tuned with my feelings and surroundings. From a young age, I was able to sense the moods and feelings of others and learned a lot from observing their emotions. My sensitivity of people’s natures was a continuing lesson I learned throughout my childhood and well into my teens that helped shaped my view of the world. In my teens, my curiosity for the world deepened, many questions began to emerge so I delved into various metaphysical topics from tarot cards to astrology and everything in between. However, most questions were left unanswered and I felt more confused than when I first started.

As I began approaching my twenties, my focus was no longer on the feelings of others but instead it was focused on my own. There was a deep urge in understanding my own emotions and feelings, thus, sparking the start of my journey of inner-growth. Old feelings and themes began to emerge, feelings that I repressed from the past were coming back to light. So, I did what I have always done, ignored it, hoping that it would go away but this time it did not. No matter how hard the universe pushed, I pulled just as hard. For some time, there was an internal struggle of pushing and pulling. Although, these feelings made me miserable, the thought of change terrified me even more. As a result, I continued to struggle against the current but to no avail the current won. I finally got tired of fighting, the harder I tried to grasp the more I felt I was suffocating. My grip was beginning to weaken, I had no choice but to let go. Now, vulnerable and cloaked in my own sorrow, my soul laid there naked and afraid. Like a caged kitten that was finally being released for the first time, I cautiously treaded forward. Weary at times, I stopped to scope out my surroundings, when I felt it was safe I cautiously moved ahead once more. In time, I slowly began to heal and accepted that letting go was the only option. Once I accepted and acknowledged my feelings, things began to fall into place and the world was whole again. I was back to my optimistic, care-free, loving-self, prancing along happily on life’s journey. Then suddenly, like a rug being pulled from under my feet, I fell once more. Sadden by my hard unexpected fall; I laid there grasping my emotions just as tightly as before but it was no use, it was seeping through the cracks of my fingers. The harder I clenched my fist the faster my emotions were spinning out of control. At that moment, I remembered my last experience and how I felt the same pain and emotions arising when I held on for dear life. This time, instead of holding on until I suffocated, I slowly unclenched each finger one by one. Again, like a weary kitten I would take a couple steps forward, stop a while to feel out my surroundings, and then cautiously moved forward once more. Like before, things began to shine light. From then on, each obstacle I faced, I learned to recognize and work through my negative emotions. As time went on, I was no longer afraid of change and began to embrace the changes that were occurring in my life.

The universe continues to present us with lessons and these lessons will continue to appear until we decide to face them. I have realized that the universe is here to help us and the more we connect and work through our emotions the stronger our intuition will become. We all have the opportunity to grow from the lessons being presented to us but it is up to each and every one of us to learn and grow from our own experiences.

- May